well, all is well... well, its as good as it can be. i may as well go ahead and tell the story as i heard it to clear up any questions and for sick enjoyment of those who like trainwrecks... (fyi: i'm using the lanuage as i heard it and there are some pretty gross me out moments)

so, they got a divorce this past august and he (we'll call him bill) was not happy of the end of their marriage dispite his unhappiness in the marriage. so he bugged her constantly, saying really hateful things and trying to get her back into his life. (what a smooth operator) my mom was trying to be nice and she had, had enough. well, fast forward to the events of friday night, bill called my mom and he begged my mom not to hang up on him. he apologized for being rude and asked my mom if he could borrow a couple ambien. my mom reluctantly agrees and tells him that he can come get them but then he needs to leave. he comes over and gets the pills. my mom goes into another room hoping he gets the hint and leaves. instead he joins her in the room she's in and tells her that he is going to go into her hamper and get out a pair of her dirty undies to take with him. (EW!) my mom tells him thats disgusting and NO! he does it anyway and my mom is just like "whatever. take them and GO!" he doesnt. instead he goes to where my mom is sitting, pulls her out of the chair by her arm and hair (OUCH!) and tells her "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you tonight if its the last thing i do" (OMGWTFBBQ!?!?!) so there is a struggle between bill trying to forcfully pull my mother into her bedroom so he can rape her and her getting loose trying to get to the door. after many attempts to escape by my mom and lots of pushing and hitting by bill, my mom makes it out of the door and hauls as much ass as she can to her sister's house (my mom lives on a farm and shares a driveway with her sister and BIL. the distance between their houses is about an acre). my uncle is standing outside seeing my mom being chased by a deranged bill and trys to block bill from getting to my mom. bill knocks down my uncle, knocks off his glasses (which he's practically blind with out) and grabs my mom by the hair by the maybe billionth time for the night and tries to pull her back to her house. my uncle regains his footing and somehow pries bill out of my mom's hair. while my uncle somehow deals with bill he yells at my mom to run into his house and call 911! about this time bill leaves then the police show up and my mom files a complaint against bill. so my aunt and my mom are walking back to my mom's house and they see bill trying to pull back into my mom's driveway, but when he notices them he backs out and pulls into a neighboring driveway that isnt 1000feet away. they call the cops again (there was an immediate restraining order against bill and his proximity to her house). the cops do whatever they do and my mom, aunt, and uncle get into my aunt's car and decide to find a hotel for the night. but no hotels avliable thanks to some convention in houston. so they go back to my aunt's house and hang out there. my mom gets a call on her cell from bill telling my mom that he's at her house and going to kill himself in the next ten minutes. (AHHHH!) so they call 911 again and tell them whats going on. the next thing my mom told me was that he used one of his shotguns and killed himself. (dammit!)

so, that was what i heard on friday night sometime after the incident. my mom has no concept of the time frame this all happened. i can only imagine. its NUTS to the infinty factor! so here's a few puzzle pieces that i found out the following day when bill's daughter was informed of his death and my mom talked to bill's 1st ex-wife (we'll call her no.1).

my mom's bedroom windows were shot out. (WTF?) so, my mom is talking to no.1 and she is relaying a conversation that bill had with his daughter and her the night before, before bill sealed his fate. apparently bill was telling his daughter where all his important "stuff" could be found and what he wanted after he was gone and just general freaked his kid out (who's 29, but its still WAY FREAKY!!!). she kept asking him where he was and that they would come get him and work whatever was wrong out, but he wouldnt tell her anything like that. so she hands the phone to her mother (aka. no.1). bill tells no.1 that he "roughed up" my mom pretty bad earlier that night and that he wasnt telling anyone where he was because he wasnt going to jail. period. and that he was going to kill himself that night, but he was going to kill my mom 1st! (OH NOES!!!) so, apparently, bill thought my mom was in her bedroom because that was the only light she left on in the house, but she was at my aunt's, and bill shot into the windows of her bedroom and then shot himself.

ok, how messed up is that? i was talking to Erin last night (btw, THANKS! its always nice knowing there is someone out there that you can babble with for 2hours+ about who's husband is geekier) and we decided that this would be a great movie. seriously, its too far off the deep end it shouldnt be reality. all jokes aside. it is reality. and a very sad reality. sometimes the pains of life outweigh a person's coping ability. while i'm certainly not an advocate of suicide (infact i'm 100% the opposite, i firmly believe that suicide is NEVER the answer no matter the situation!) but it was his decision and thats that.

i am doing fine. every now and again the shock kicks back in, but i'm not angry at bill as i was friday night and when i found out the phone call he had with no.1. in fact, i'm really reluctant on publishing this. bill was a good man. i do want everyone to know that. life got to him. despite the actions of his final day, his legacy should not be remembered as those actions. he was a hard worker who loved his family and was a friendly person. being that no one is perfect and that sometimes people change while others do not, the marriage between bill and my mother didnt work. my mom didnt want to be married to him, but she wanted to be his friend. she didnt want this. but he couldnt deal with her not being his. (and, as far as i know, there could be so many more things that lead him to this) my mom is coping. not blaming herself which is often a reaction that happens in this situation and likely to be what bill wanted her to do. she's having her ups and downs. i'm not sure if its that he's dead, or the shock of the whole evening combined, or the fact that all this crap happened at her home. she told me today that she was thinking about having her house "blessed" (ok mom.) which is a little weird because she's not the most religious person, but whatever starts her on the road to recovery. bill's daughter is dealing as well. she's planning a memorial service and has shown no anger towards my mother as of yet (which is how it should be, but not so much her style in the past).

this is big. and this is permanent. but this is how it is. it definately reminds me how senseless suicide is in my eyes. and reminds me how people can be altered and warped by their emotions. sometimes a good thing and sometimes, like in this case, not. bill is missed for the good man he used to be and he did the best thing he could do, i guess. quite frankly (and cold-heartedly. i know, but its honestly how i feel), i am not glad he is dead, but i'm glad that this chapter is finally closed in my mother's life and she can attempt to carry on and live her life the way she wanted to. it will take time to heal, but there is plenty of time.

so, now that our hearts are all beating a little faster and we feel like we need some popcorn and milk duds, i believe i will go finish project: baby gate. **


Kirbs said...

Whoa. Whoa.
I'm sorry that you're family is dealing with this and that your poor mom had to go through that. I must say, I admire you for what you said about Bill being a good person. It's crazy how life does get to people. I hope your mom heals soon...even if it takes getting her house "blessed." =)

hollystar said...

thank you kirbie and everyone else for your thoughts and kind words. things like that really do make situations like this easier on a person.

my mom also sends her thanks!


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