i hate those emails family members forward, but

my step mom sent me one titled "BOYS---AND WHY THEY NEED TO BE WATCHED OVER". i wont bore you with the entire email, but bits of it:

now, for the pièce de résistance

aside from the photos there were some tidbits of wisdom that made me chuckle, such as:
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.


Joe said...

The knife in the electrical socket picture kid is a n00b. That knife has a wooden handle. He won't even feel a tickle of a zap.

Now, I, on the other hand, stuck a spoon in a socket once. I have absolutely no memory of this, so I think it must have fried something up in my head.

Karen said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.


Glenda T. said...

OMG, those are great!! Love the gleeful look on the kid's face checking out the boobies! haha Just like a man!

A Free Man said...

Brilliant! That's why I'm glad that I've got a boy.

cynthia said...

Hey Holly- Swung by to check you out:) Oh this is beyond funny. I grew up as the only girl in my neighborhood and I saw many of these things first hand:)


Related Posts with Thumbnails