omg. today has to be one of the lamest days in a while. just to gripe and get some stuff off my chest, it started out by waking up after only getting 4hours of sleep (i know. boohoo. poor me.) i thought the world was going to be a better place when husband took the boogerbear upstairs and left me to rest. well, that is until my phone started ringing like 20minutes later (you got it, just enough tiime to get back to sleep. i have a hard time with that kind of stuff.) i missed the call, but the noise from the msg did get my attention. i listened to the msg. it was my FIL. my poor MIL was up all night puking and wasnt feeling so hot. my MIL planned a birthday celebration for me and since she was not feeling so hot, they just wanted to inform us that the day's plans had changed. (poop. but no big deal. i was worried about my MIL, but not stressing about any other events) so, i sent a text upstairs to husband. (thats how things work in this house. if i just yell at husband to return his step-dad's call, the boogerbear would obviously hear me and more than likely throw a huge shit fit until i went upstairs.) i waited a moment to hear husband stomping over to his cell phone to check his txt, but nothing. grr... oh well, no rush. i think to myself that i'm still a bit drowsy so i will get just a little more rest and then go up and tell husband and my SIL what the deal was and we'de go from there. ok. snuggle back into our medium warmth goose down supersized lacrosse comforter from the company store. (mmmmm....) just as my mind starts to drift back into a blissful state of unconsiousness, i hear goldfinger screaming their cover of "99 red balloons" at me. (i'm a big fan of the music ringtone on most days) argh! now, i cant find my phone. grr. so i miss the call again. its my MIL again. there's a message. i listen. the voice i hear is one of the saddest, most pathetic sounds i've ever heard. its my MIL. she's, yea, sick. i guess there was some confusion as to who was calling who and everyone just called me. ok, i send husband another txt. i wait for the stomping. nothing. queue baby crying here. arg! there is no way my tired butt is going back to sleep now. poop.
so i throw aside my beloved comforter and drag my feet as i head out of the bedroom and upstairs. i walk straight over to husband's phone. turn the ringer back ON and toss it to him, telling him he has a txt msg. anywho, the plans for the day are no more, so we kinda talk about what we're going to do. my super cool SIL steps in and says she'll baby sit while we go out tonight. (our plan was to go out tomorrow on my actual bday and the now sick MIL was going to baby sit.) sounds good. at this point i'm a little peeved at husband. in general, i try not to expect much from him in the take control and make my birthday a perfect day department. i try not to because i will unfortunately be sorely disappointed if i do expect a lot. lame, but its not who he is. he's a tell me what you want and i'll get it kinda guy. works out pretty good sometimes. so, i've thrown my share of over the top and/or suprise parties for other people in my life time, but i've never received one. i was NOT expecting anything, but, when a gal hits a quarter of a century, you'de think there would be a few balloons and noise makers. again, i did not expect this, but it would have been nice for husband to take the wheel and steer my bday into the right direction. he didnt. he got a flat tire. anywho, we have a baby sitter and a couple ideas of where we're planning on checking for reservations.
time for lunch. we get ready to head to a sammich place we both like. as i get into the car, my grandmother calls. ok. so she's way stressed over my mom who has been having a really rough time with her depression/grief issues. i have no idea what to tell her. i'm always treated like a kid in my family. that is, until everyone else falls apart and i'm supposed to be the rock. not allowed to loose it, but always relied on to be dumped on. its ok. i'm a good listener. i have my share of common sense to help with a problem when i can. i didnt have the patience for it today. i totally yelled at my poor grandmother who did nothing wrong other than worry about her baby girl. (yes, we're talking about a 50year old woman here, but its one of those "the things you do for your kids" thing) i just couldnt take being dumped on this time. (by dumped on i mean having people just spill their problems and not think twice about my life and its own basket of problems/issues) all week long i was dumped on. my mom had a really bad week. i have no idea where her feelings for my step-dad are coming from, but this week was his birthday (the 12th) and she was way down and mega sad over that. she hates her job and every kid that comes with it. (she has to be a little nutty, she's an 8th grade english teacher) then this was her 1st valentine's day sans husband. every holiday has a special memory once you spend a few years with a certain person. had my parents just divorced, the holidays would be different and possibly a little hard to get used to. BUT, again back to the unknown feelings for my step-dad, each holiday seems to be really taking its toll thanks to him removing himself in a very permanent way. the reason why i dont understand her "grief" is because i have such a cold view point of the situation. sometimes i just want to take my mom by the sholders, give her a good shake and say "look! he's out of your life! you wanted him out! you left him! it sucks that he took the steps to remove himself from not only your life, but this world as well. BUT THAT WAS HIS DOING!!!" i have a really hard time not asking my mom if she would be with him again if he were alive. her mourning never remembers the bad times. the last five or so years where she was so miserable. or maybe she didnt need to divorce him at all? maybe he wasnt the source of her depression? maybe her depression comes from something else? her job? me? her? i dont know and i cant help. i apologized for exploding. we're at the sammich place.
we eat. lunch was good. we head back to the car and decided to go to a local market to snag a bottle of wine for dinner. on the way i get a call from the michael's manager that was handling my paper work. she tells me that my paperwork is a go, BUT she had just got back from corperate meetings and was told that Michael's would be putting their classes on hiatus until at least april 1st if not indefinately. arg! i knew wasnt HIRED, except that i was hired on the condition that i wasnt a child molester. well, on the up side, she offered me a spot as a cashier (ew! thanks, but no thanks!) and said she thought i would have made a fantastic instructor and will definately have my paperwork on top and give me a call if michaels decides to resume their classes. i thanked her. hung up. and cried.
husband was very sweet. held my hand. let me cry. i got over it. we went to the jewelry store than he got my valentine's gift from. (pearl earings to match the necklace i got last year for valentine's)things started looking up from there. the jewelry store had had coffee. i needed it. i walked up to the pearls counter and explained to the woman there the exchange i had in mind. she took my necklace and current studs to the back and with in 3minutes returned with a single pair of pearl studs. they were perfect. i wanted something smaller than what husband originally bought. he bought 8mm. i thought i might want 5mm. she brought 6.5mm and they looked great on my earlobe. PLUS, they were a perfect match to my necklace. awesome. she also cleaned my wedding ring. its all super shiney now. the exchange was handled with no snags. we returned to our domicile.
after a series of failed phone calls to possible locations for a babyfree meal, one of our favorite places had seating for this evening in an hour and a half. i got dressed. super SIL showed up. we headed back out the door. 3 hours, 1 before dinner drink, 1 bottle of wine, 2 soups, salads, filet mignon, rack of lamb, creme brulee, warm bread pudding, coffee, cappicino, and digestifs we returned home again to find a smeeping baby and happy auntie. apparently the evening went well for them as well. after such a crappy day, at least there was some peace found at the end of the day with an incrediable dinner OUT! i could have made better mashed potatoes, but it was OUT. no kids and no dishes. YAY! PLUS, i did open my bday giftie from my SIL. she got me season1 of ugly betty. we're watching it now.
so, at the end of the day i'm still unsure of my feelings about this birthday thing and then other people's involvement with it. will i get a birthday cake tomorrow? more than likely not. will i be upset about it? a little. will it really matter to me on tuesday? no. i think i do get where those "birthdays suck" people are coming from though....
sorry to be so poopie. but, hey, tomorrow is another day. HEY! its a whole other year of my life.
